how we forget about the things we used to care about?

now, that was rather cynical. I've had the past two, three months of my life, mroe than the beginning part of this year ABSORBED by my future. it's insane, what people in publich schools, especially gifted kids, are subjected to. For the past two eyars of my life i've spent roughly an hour a day, each shcool day, preparing for a test i will take tomorrow, for what? nothing, really, it's not going to affect who i am as a person, or my fuutre that much, but i've put so much effort into an hour of multiple choice questions, and 2 hours of essay writing on nuggets of history i really have no emotional attachment to.

i did it earlier this week with English, actually. it's easier than you think. Still i've got my SAT's on saturday, my real ones, and my ACT's the next time after that, when all i really want to do is be with my friends, because i've realized something. With so many firneds of mien going off to college after this summer, like, going AWAY, a good friend of mine leaving me a week ago, and another good friend of mine moving to colorado later this summer, time is precious.

Time is oh so very very precious, and can't be wasted, and i need to be with the people ic are aobut most while i still can. this year's passed by so fast, and i've ignored DA to give myself more time for other, more 'important' thigns. Maybe i should ignore things like this less....

I've got a bunch of short stories and poetry saved on the school computer, but no way to transport them sicne i lost my zip drive, but i'll get them onto this goddamn dell if it's the last thing i do!

Darrin, the teacher i respect the most (but don't like the most, he never changed my life like good ol Kimberlyn did) said i haven't learned hwo to love anyone yet. my experience says he's wrong, but maybe he's not. have YOU learned to love people. no, not like when you say you lvoe them,when you think you love them, when you beleive you love them. worshipping someone and thinkign they are better than other people isn't love, for whom it applies. So, maybe i have learned how to love someone. hm, it's a fun thoguht.

in the meantime, go pick up the new Green day album. i don't care if tis pop punk, or emo, or all the music i really hate, it's such a fun little CD, you should all give it a lsiten, especially if you like to bash Bush.

current mood: no clue
current music: Green day - 'Holiday'